“I don’t even drink tequila and I bought the hoodie. People keep asking me what Montaukila is, and I pretend I’m an investor.”

“The hat turned into a personality trait. I’ve been complimented more wearing this than on my birthday.”

“I don’t know what ‘premium lifestyle brand’ means, but apparently it includes me now. I’ll take it.”

“People ask where I got the tee shirt. I tell them it’s exclusive just to watch them suffer.”